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"Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve."

Head Like A Hole - Nine Inch Nails

I admit it;  for all of my griping about my last Nine Inch Nails show, the announcement of the NIN/JA tour and Trent's ominous "after this, Nine Inch Nails is going away indefinitely" blog had me glued to my computer on presale day, determined not to miss what might be my last chance at seeing a band that shaped my musical landscape from my teens forward.  As much as I like to think that Trent's choice of words indicates that he will continue to make music, albeit released from the box of expectations associated with the NIN brand, I fear Trent has grown tired of the bullshit of the industry and fickle fans unwilling to embrace anything new.  This astonishes me, as I'm of the opinion that The Slip was one of Trent's strongest albums to date;  it delivered hard rocking tracks with biting lyrics, danceable tracks for nights at the rock club, and haunting melancholy pieces.  Its one weakness perhaps is Corona Radiata, which isn't terrible, but is not up to par with other instrumental works he's done.

With this tour, a co-headliner with the reunited original line-up of Jane's Addiction, Trent has been treating fans to more varied sets night to night, a ban on the omnipresent Closer (a shame, since there are other songs far more in need of retirement, like Hurt), and breaking out songs that have been scarcely/never seen live.  With minimal instrumental tracks, a plain stage show without visual effects typical for NIN tour set-ups and NIN NOT headlining, it was a very different animal from recent tours.  That said, I'd have to declare this the best of the three shows I've seen.

This show, with a few set insertions/switches (Somewhat Damaged in lieu of March of the Pigs; The Wretched in lieu of I Do Not Want This; Dead Souls in lieu of Burn, which I love but have heard), was custom-designed from my dreams.  Sure, I could have easily embraced other songs not played, but all of them have been done for me before, so I very easily will live.  There were no instrumentals, no long periods of Ghost tracks, no weak songs.  The set was incredibly hard and up-tempo.  Best of all, I was graced with my favourite track of all, The Fragile.  My set staples (Terrible Lie; Head Like A Hole; Gave Up) all made it that night, and the brain-dead clapping spider monkeys that ruined Hurt at my last show did not attend, it seems.  Trent threw down microphone stands and his keyboard, tripped and fell in his angsty vigor, and generally belted his heart and soul out, with an extremely poignant whispered "Goodbye" as he left the stage.  I truly feel the lack of restriction and repetition that comes with more elaborately staged tours did wonders for the performance in Toronto.  If Trent is to return, with a new project or with NIN, I hope he leans towards a loosely structured stage show in the future.

The entire show was pretty much a highlight, but I'll point out a few tracks here that really stood out for me:

1,000,000:  This track is stellar, classic Broken-esque NIN.  How anyone can slag The Slip with this brilliant song being on the disc, I do not know.  Coming off Terrible Lie into this track made for vicious headbanging delight.

Heresy:  I'd never heard this one live, and it was incredibly good, a great crowd sing-along for the chorus in my area of the theatre. 

I'm Afraid Of Americans:  Despite my assuming that the earlier appearance of Metal would be our only cover of the night, in hindsight, this song's appearance shouldn't have surprised me at the one Canadian date of the tour.  Trent really poured himself into this Bowie track, pretty much blowing the minds of the entire audience.

The Fragile:  This song has an inredible significance to my own life, and did not disappoint me.  The vocal delivery was appropriately soft at the start, growing in strength towards the peak at the end.  Why oh why did I not see the tour for this album?  It made for an incredible transition from I Do Not Want This, the contrast sharp between it and "Don't you tell me how I feel..."

Mr. Self-Destruct:  This song was too hot for words.  I'd never heard this either, and it's a favourite from The Downward Spiral for me.  I think this was the track where I completely screwed the muscles in my shoulders and neck rocking out.  It was worth it.

Head Like A Hole:  Way back in grade ten, on the bus for a school trip next to my oblivious History class crush, said crush offered to share his headphones with me after I said I had never heard Nine Inch Nails.  His mix tape of personal favourites began with this song, and from moment one, I was hooked.  This needed to be in my goodbye show as a full circle moment.  I actually found myself rather emotional, knowing the set was closing as my fandom had begun.

Hurt:  I'm kind of tired of this song overall, but in the context of a goodbye tour, with such a fragility to Trent's vocals (and no off beat clapping), this moved me. 

Well done, Mr. Reznor.  Well done, indeed.  Please don't go away for good.  Enjoy your break, renew and revive your creativity, and I'm sure I speak for every fan who's attended this tour when I say I hope we see you again soon.

For the record, opener Street Sweeper Social Club was incredible, and I highly recommend you hit ninja2009.com and download the sampler for this tour, which includes all three bands on the bill.  Due to work constraints I had to bail halfway through Jane's Addiction;s set but I have to say Perry Farrell is an incredible showman and their performance was tight.  Check them out too!

SETLIST

Now I'm Nothing
Terrible Lie
1,000,000
Heresy
March of the Pigs
Metal (Gary Numan)
The Becoming
I'm Afraid of Americans (Bowie)
Burn
Gave Up
I Do Not Want This
The Fragile
The Way Out Is Through
Wish
Survivalism
Mr. Self-Destruct
The Hand That Feeds
Head Like A Hole

Hurt

 

Relevant in so many ways...  Today would have been my grandfather's 70th birthday, if he lived to see it.  And just as I was at a concert as he was passing slowly on, I will be at this band's show in 15 hours...  For every loss, death or heartbreak, this speaks to me now.

Everyone has a relationship, where things fluctuate, where things ebb and flow...  And yet, it's meant to be.  Or so you think. 

But life has a way of upending things, of turning them on their heads and making yours spin into oblivion.  Life has a way of leaving you standing alone, clinging to desperate wanting, desperate inner pleas inside your mind.  You feel, so clearly, that to part will forever haunt you both.  But there you are, turning around slowly and walking away from the one thing you wanted to hold onto, the one thing that mattered.

Everyone wants to erase and rewind.  Everyone wants that second chance.  Sometimes, people just aren't willing to choose it.  They say if you love something, you set it free;  if it's meant to be yours, it will return again.  I have never set someone free before with that aspiration, with that intent.  When I have set someone free, it is usually because I cannot give them what they need or deserve, or they cannot ever measure up for me, so to string them along is cruelty.  I have tasted the bitterness of setting free someone you would shackle yourself to, if you believed it would be a fruitful way to hang on to their light, and there is nothing worse.  It taints everything:  food, drink, sleep.  You look in the mirror with loathing, with incredulous eyes wondering how you could do such a thing.

Love isn't supposed to be sunshine and kittens,  It isn't supposed to be blissful and easy.  Love - true love, enduring love - is work.  Love is loving the flaws, and not merely criticizing but wanting, more than anything, to watch another person grow to become the potential within, that dream they are afraid to reach out and take hold of.  After all, no one writes songs about the ones that come easy. 

But one person cannot work alone.  The pyramids were not built by a single person, and nor is a good love.  It's foolish to believe that you can hold the weight of the world upon your shoulders and not break your back eventually, no longer able to stand from the agony of that loneliness.

Sometimes, to understand what we have, we must lose it, or risk that loss.  My only wish now, is for understanding.

With the release of Abnormally Attracted to Sin, Tori Amos' 10th album, fans and critics fall into two loose camps, dependent on their impression of her previous outing, American Doll Posse:

1) Can she ever redeem herself to the good ol' days of Boys For Pele/From The Choirgirl Hotel/Under The Pink/etc.?

2) Was The Beekeeper truly a fluke of weak songwriting and overproduction, or was American Doll Posse a lucky and unexpected success?

I personally lie in that latter camp, having embraced American Doll Posse, Pip and all, so wholeheartedly that it's currently sitting comfortably in my number two slot in the realm of Tori's discography, behind my long-time love From The Choirgirl Hotel. While I was somewhat more open and forgiving with The Beekeeper than many fans (it was certainly an album that brought about a mass exodus from the fanbase), it was still an incredibly weak album overall. With American Doll Posse, my faith was renewed in Tori's ability to deliver a song more rocking than a case of downers dissolved in Ovaltine.

My first impressions of Abnormally Attracted to Sin weren't exactly warm. Welcome To England seemed like a slightly more rocking Sleeps With Butterflies; 500 Miles was an utter piece of wretch that somehow topped out the fail quotient of Secret Spell (a song I not-so-affectionately refer to as Secret Suck); and Fire To Your Plain seemed passable. I was then hit with Ophelia, Curtain Call and Flavor, and promptly decided that this was not promising, given that only Curtain Call truly excited me.

This all explains why I am so relieved to report that upon complete and – this is key – repeated listens, the album holds up well overall, although it suffers similar production issues to those fans have been griping over since The Beekeeper as well as an inability for Amos to edit an album down to its strongest tracks. Granted, this may be partially due to the diminished popularity of CD singles, a format Amos enthusiastically contributed numerous B-Sides to over the years; I always feel the reason her albums stretch so long now is because she wants to give her fans every song she can, as she has always done. The trouble is, weaker tracks distract from the gems, and diminishes her concept for the album, killing its effectiveness. Somewhere in here lies an album born of the best elements from To Venus And Back, American Doll Posse and The Beekeeper, but you have to dig for it. The trouble is, disgruntled and more casual fans simply won't bother doing so.

Thinking back to early interviews and comments by Tori with regards to the direction for The Beekeeper, I have to say that this album is a lot closer to what I and likely other fans expected to hear upon that album's arrival; I'd anticipated something with an 'earthy' feel, something dark but sensual, what with all the talk of organs and pianos mating. Instead, we were treated to The Sleepkeeper and the Hooked On Valium tour. Lyrically, it pales compared to her first five albums in most places, but Tori can still craft a gorgeous song or string together a metaphor that is both potent and perplexing.

Is it as good as American Doll Posse? In an edited form, perhaps – but I found American Doll Posse needed scant few edits. Overall, I'm inclined to say this: if the more adult contemporary tracks of Scarlet's Walk didn't make you hand in your fan card immediately and you've found something to enjoy on each album since (even the dreaded disc The Beekeeper), then this album will offer you something to enjoy, particularly if To Venus and Back blended with the Southern sass of Boys For Pele's vocals sounds tasty to you; if A Sorta Fairytale and Bouncing Off Clouds made you homicidal, you're probably going to walk away fairly unsatisfied here. That said, Tori Amos is never going to make another album identical to one before, so if you're holding your breath for an album full of harpsichords and guttural wails, it's not coming, ever. Tori's made it pretty clear in her choice to make a different sort of album each and every time. I may not love everything she does, but I respect that she changes things up each and every time – for better or for worse.

That all said and done, let's give this a spin and do the track-by-track:

Give: This opener wins my approval, keeping Tori's track 1 record with me intact (I have never disliked any track 1 on an album of hers, ever, although Yo George isn't high on my charts). It reeks of the sultry edge of the Pip persona, tapping the eerie feel and simmering rage of Smokey Joe. The melody sounds like the result of TVAB and BFP mating and allowing SW to raise their offspring and teach it to speak. Despite being simplistic, the lyrics work for the message, and the more 'live' sound to the vocals provides the perfect edge to a brooding melody. 5/5

Welcome To England: This song has been one that has grown on me, although it's still not top-notch. The main detraction from this piece is the same issue I have with Crazy: the lyrics are edgy, but the bland music (especially during the choruses) and pacing of delivery just don't support them. The guitar is also overkilled, as 'Mac' is brought too much to the front in the mix. 4/5

Strong Black Vine: Choirgirl-era Tori, is that you hiding in there? Because you sure sound like you're not from his tribe (and methinks this is your rallying cry to others to become 'recovering Christians'). I'm not sure what surprises me most: the powerful vocals reminiscent of Professional Widow, the bold musical accompaniment, or the just cryptic enough to feel 'Tori' lyrics. This song feels, in some senses, like it could fall as a prequel to Witness – her attempting to save someone, only to be left condemned and thinking, 'Wait – I thought I had a witness. Didn't you hear me?'. 5/5

Flavor: This track is suffering from two major issues: 1) it reeks of a stripped-down Give crossed with Lust's live incarnation (blech) and 2) the lyrics are incredibly dull and repetitive. Was Tori staring at LOLCats with Tash all day? 'I has a flavor!' Coupled with Ophelia's use of the word flavor, it's overkill and makes me want to fetch Tori a thesaurus. In general, it recycles ideas we've heard numerous times from Tori already. Makes for great background/cleaning music. 3.5/5

Not Dying Today: This cannot be coincidence. Tori simply must realize she's almost blatantly ripped off the melody of her own track Dolphin Song for this one. It's as if she said, 'Fine. You don't like 'Smoo like doooophin'? Fine, try these lyrics instead!'. My answer: MUCH better, Tori. Such a fun, upbeat track on an album that mostly broods and simmers in rage and rejection of societal control and mind games, it feels jarring and loosely on theme. That said, it's a favourite of mine on this disc and I cannot stress how much I want to hear this live, if only to hear the spoken word bit. 5/5

Maybe California: This reeks of adult contemporary, and yet, I'm utterly in love with it. It may be due to personal experiences that leave me completely understanding the feeling of staring down the cliffs of California and being too tired to go on. It may also be the strange brainwave that leads me to hypothesize this: Maybe California is a continuation/relative of Mrs Jesus. While the lyrics state "Hey Mrs, see – please don't jump", when has Tori not felt free to play on sounds? What a strange mirror it would be to see Tori/Scarlet move from being in despair and unable to understand how to live in the world with so much hate and use of religion as justification for violence (a concept close to this album's heart) to being 'saved' by the wisdom of Mrs. Jesus as she carries her unborn child... to Scarlet on the cliffs of California, urging a fellow 'mother' to remain strong for her 'children'? Whether it is a direct mirror of despairing mother to a nameless woman later met by a wiser Scarlet, or Scarlet speaking straight to Mrs Jesus (who despairs at those going astray from the real essence of his teachings), it's fascinating me to consider. Add in also the lyrical connections (Mrs. Jesus - "Lifelines and suicide crimes, he found me in a state..."; references to stars, angels/heaven in both pieces) and it's food for thought. 5/5 (really!)

Curtain Call: This song is the most personal of the album, for anyone with a decent knowledge of Tori's career will tell you it's painfully autobiographical, depicting Tori's trajectory through the music business. This ground was well covered in Tori's book Piece By Piece, but here, it's moving and corn mother free. I'm going to go right ahead and declare this the strongest track of the album, if only for its earnest nature and the lyrics that catch my eye as clever nods (references to China's wall, looking-glass and 'shade' – concepts in Tori's songs; the fact that music is 'spiritual' for her). 5/5

Fire To Your Plain: My first reaction to this track was a 'this is alright', but the combination of the visualette and allowing it to grow on me is moving it upward. This song would be strong single material, if only because it doesn't betray Tori's usual style of songwriting like, say, Sleeps With Butterflies, but it's more accessible than, say, Professional Widow. I have a terrible feeling this will blow live, in that Tori will perform it too slow. 4/5

Police Me: This is such a strange and quirky piece, I can't help but enjoy it. It's not her strongest outing, lyrically or musically, but it's got that little sass of My Posse Can Do. I think it's not very effective for her concept, even if the notion of being policed seems bang on. This song would have made a fantastic b-side. 4/5

That Guy: Oh, god. This song is so terrible, I've only finished listening to it once (and I've played everything else 3 times or more). Boringm tedious music coupled with plodding, over the top lounge delivery kills what are actually lyrics containing a few decent lines (stress on few). The endless use of 'That guy...' and the 'will we break-up' makes this sound like bad emo teen poetry though. This will be a torture session live far worse than Jamaica (fucking) Inn. 2/5 out of pity.

Abnormally Attracted To Sin: The title track of the album delivers some of the more cryptic and visual image-centred lyrics of the album, and this coupled with the sultry electronic feel of the piece make it incredibly strong. However, for some reason, I don't quite love it yet. I have a feeling it will be a grower. 4.5/5

500 Miles: UGH. Dear God, it's like Secret Spell and Ireland (without the funny parts about Saabs and amusing sha-na-na-nas) rammed into one epic failure of a song sent from hell to make my ears bleed. Seriously Tori, why not just ram on some gospel singers singing about a sweet sting and add in a slow bridge featuring 'looooooooook I'm standing naked before you' repeated twenty times and complete this ultimate suckfest you apparently aimed for? The only people ever allowed to sing 500 Miles in a song again are the Proclaimers. STAB. 1/5 strictly because it's Tori Amos and therefore still better than the Jonas Brothers by default.

Mary Jane: This song wins at loungey cabaret where That Guy fails, and is a clever little song about marijuana. How can I not adore it? And to boot, the lyrics definitely tip their hat to Reefer Madness and its related hysteria, which makes it on topic. This one probably would have been a b-side in the Atlantic records era rich in CD singles, which makes it look a little weak here. 4/5

Starling: I like this track the more I hear it. It conjures up the creepy sort of feeling drifting about the Choirgirl-era tracks like Liquid Diamonds and Black-Dove, and the percussion noises I describe as 'horses trotting' just give me shivers. The lyrics themselves remind me of Choirgirl/Venus Tori, which pushes this song right up the list of tracks towards the number one slot. Tori, take a memo: more of this, less 500 Miles. Love, your fan. 4.5/5

Fast Horse: When you load a song titled after the name of a bird that can mimic sounds from its surroundings, a song with horse-type noises, into the playlist before a song called Fast Horse, I giggle. It's even more amusing in light of Black-Dove (bird in title) having a lyric about "I have to get to Texas" and Fast Horse referencing Tennessee. The energy and music remind me of Code Red (rocking and angry) but the southern feel to the lyrics and delivery conjure up SW and Pele a la Little Amsterdam. Nice. I can't say I find it perfectly on theme, but it's a strong song that merges old style and new. 4/10

Ophelia: The sentiment of this song is moving, and feels like a letter to the numerous troubled women in Tori's fanbase. I'm a huge fan of Hamlet and also the books Reviving Ophelia and Ophelia Speaks, so it connects with me on a level. I just find the melody to not stand out from other tracks on the album, and that damn use of 'flavor' crops up again. It may grow on me more over time (perhaps as I skip Flavor and avoid that repetition). 4/5

Lady In Blue: This song creeps along, a jazzy cabaret number with mysterious haunting lyrics and a building up at the end that is dynamite, reminiscent of live versions of songs like Waitress. That said, it feels a little too slow to get going, and could stand a trim of 45 seconds maybe to make a better song. This song is probably one that is closest to 'classic Tori' (I'm thinking UTP-era) and will likely be the one traditional fans latch onto to. Unfortunately, played solo live, it will be lacking its strongest element (the bass and build-up) and will therefore be a letdown. But maybe Tori will surprise me. 4.5/5

 

Overall:  80/100.  With trimming, this could be 90/100.  Tori, please edit and release b-side digital eps.  Your fans and wallet will thank you.

It always comes back to music for me.

Music is my soundtrack to all of life's events, both trivial and tantamount to shaping who have become and am becoming.  Music fuels me when nothing else can motivate me to keep pressing forward.  Music makes me laugh, and cry.  Music is cathartic, especially live.  As Third Eye Blind once sang, "The four right chords could make me cry." 

Music is there, even when it's 4am and no one's answering their phone or online.  Music is fun and silly, and intelligent and challenging.  Music can evoke a mood, or change it for the better.

Music is my oxygen.

Music can also take me back, certain songs triggering memories so succinctly that they feel real again, feel as if the events were unfolding right this moment.  I can close my eyes and remember it all:  the way I felt, how cold or warm I was, who was there and what we did.  Certain lyrics will forever affect me, forever connect to certain people or places.  Such is the case with Pictures of Success by Rilo Kiley.  In late 2007, I suddenly found myself feeling suffocated by life, by my failed aspirations, by my own mood swings, and by the illnesses in my family, namely my grandfather and father.  I had to escape.  I had to leave town and recharge completely.

In the end, with a lot of luck, as if the universe understood what I was in need of, I found myself in California right before my birthday, and spent the actual day slinging back margaritas with some of my best friends in the world on a patio in Tijuana.  It was perfect weather for me - late spring temperatures for my home city, with sunny skies and breeze.  Everything about that trip was exactly as I wanted it to be.  In the entire month of November, I'd blared Pictures of Success over and over, as if willing the fates to work out, singing along:  "They say California is a recipe for a black hole/And I say I've got my best shoes on/I'm ready to go..."  And I was ready.  I walked away from that trip in late December, turning to my boyfriend and saying, "That was what I needed.  I feel strong again.  I feel ready to cope now." 

That was December 17th, 2007.  By December 1st, 2008, my foreboding feelings over my grandfather had proven terribly true, with my grandfather going from back pain to heart attack to cancer to terminal to passing away.  So much can happen in a year, much more than we ever anticipate.  I dare not consider how well I would have handled that year without that time in the sun, to breathe in the ocean air and revive myself. 

And even now, as I miss him terribly, that song drifts into my head, to remind me of that strength I found.  I wish I had a plane ticket now;  I'm definitely ready to go, once more. 

"I try and just kick it, but then what can I do?

We've all got our junk - and my junk is you."

My Junk - Spring Awakening

 

Every generation has its musical, it seems, that one musical that either dared to express the feeling of a time or place, or presented itself in ways that forever changed the landscape of musical theatre. Hair was one such piece; Rent was the most recent, daring to bring modern music surging onto Broadway accompanied by a gutsy and realistic portrayal of the lives of the bohemians of the 90's set loosely within the familiar framework of Puccini's La Boheme. Moving one step further in its shattering of the fourth wall, Spring Awakening is undoubtedly the musical of this generation.

This isn't to say that the musical's appeal lies solely for those whose adolescent plights the work details in sympathetic light are fresh and ongoing, for its story, taken from the original late 1800's work by Frank Wedekind, is one that rings true for anyone who struggled with sexuality and parental expectations. But it is today's sociopolitical climate – one in which abortion still remains illegal in many places, where abstinence education is still touted by some misguided leaders as effective in preventing teen pregnancy, where children are still abused and where we still, to some degree, refuse to talk about any of it – to which the musical speaks. My proverbial hat is off to Steven Sater for striving to achieve what Wedekind sought to do in his time: creating a societal change towards empathetic discussion and open acknowledgment of the struggles of youth.

For me, Spring Awakening is charged with scenes and songs that underscore my own experiences in life. From parental harshness to butting heads with authority, from questions of morality and shying from organized religion to find a new path, from sexual confusion and mistreatment to the beauty of first intimacy, and from mental anguish and despair to the loss of dearly loved ones, each scene finds me captive with raw empathy for the characters on stage. I return again and again, to marvel at a cast that so gracefully and earnestly embraces the material, bringing it to life with a love for the characters that shines through in each line's delivery and each lyric sung.

To individually review the 8 (and counting!) shows I've seen on the tour of this production (my comments on my Broadway shows and a brief summary of the plot can be found here) would be time consuming and repetitive. Instead, I'll pause here to reflect individually on actors seen in a non-ensemble capacity.

Christy Altomare:

Slipping into the female lead role, Christy does an outstanding job in capturing Wendla's simultaneous innocence and inner strength in a way I have only seen Lea Michele truly capture with her performance (I always found Alexandra Socha to play the role too child-like, too innocent in places, and somewhat emotionally flat). While some might believe that her rendition of opening song Mama Who Bore Me pales in comparison to her powerful evocative delivery of Whispering, to me it almost feels as if she is consciously singing the former with a more delicate and fragile voice – the voice of a girl softly addressing herself in a mirror, as opposed to the defiant near-woman lashing back at the disapproving mother and community in the latter number. Her performance during pivotal act one 'hayloft' scene is astonishing in its honesty and a highlight of her performance; I've never been so convinced of Wendla's nurturing desire and turmoil within over choosing between what is 'right' and what feels right for her, elders be damned. I also love her delivery of her lines when pleading with her mother to tell her where babies come from; it's almost a sly bargaining approach, as if hammering out a deal with her reluctant mother, as opposed to other actresses who almost come off as petulant children stomping their feet and demanding 'why not?'. She's also a trooper; not even a painful mishap on stage (that left me wincing and gasping in horror) can hold her back from pouring herself into Wendla. She is certainly one to watch for the future, as an actress and as a singer.

Blake Bashoff:

One of the few Broadway alumni joining the tour, Blake Bashoff easily steals scenes throughout the production, winning over even the hearts of those more conservative theatre-goers aghast at the more explicit and frank action that takes place. Having enjoyed his Broadway take on the role of a character I find lovable and bipolar, with Blake having stepped into the enormous shoes left vacant by Tony winner John Gallagher Jr., his performance of Moritz has shifted to one that is both hilarious and soul-crushingly sad, one that surpasses his already strong Broadway performance only a year ago and leaves one certain that, were he to have originated the role, Bashoff would be the one with the Tony. Part of me feels that the poignancy in particular that shines through during his character's tragedy in Act 2 is partly in thanks to his interactions with Steffi D.'s Ilse. The ever-changing delivery that Steffi provides each night as Moritz converses with Ilse keeps Bashoff on his toes, allowing him to perhaps enact an even truer sense of disappointment and regret when she departs the stage, and consequently, a more heart-rending goodbye to the audience.

Julie Benko:

I had the fortune to not only nearly lose my eye as Ms Benko rocked out as ensemble during rousing number Totally Fucked, but to also witness her slip on stage as an understudy for Thea. Thea is a character that can be played in a variety of ways, although a certain spunk must be there for her to play off the more serious girls in the group. I found Julie's take adorable, a sort of midway point between the exuberant and almost conspiratorial Remy Zaken approach and Kimiko Glenn's hyper determined girl in mad crush. I would love to see Julie in a larger role in this production, because her voice is gorgeous and her stage presence strong.

Todd Cerveris:

I stumbled in the course of 8 shows so far in this Toronto run into the luck of seeing Todd's second performance as the Adult Men, and it was a striking contrast. One of the things I love about a good understudy is that their differing takes and inflections on key lines can coax dramatically different reactions from their colleagues on stage. While some of Todd's choices and deliveries were not quite as much to my personal liking, some stood in sharp relief in positive fashion against what I've come to enjoy and expect from Henry Stram. His condemnation of Moritz's scholastic error was brutal, creating a further tension that in turn created an even more dramatic contrast to the energetic number Bitch Of Living, while his slight changes in delivery as Moritz's disappointed father left Blake Bashoff even more tearful and destroyed than usual at its conclusion. I would be more than happy to see him again.

Steffi D.:

I have always been a tremendous fan of Lauren Pritchard's Ilse, although I've yet to see a performer I didn't love play the part in this musical. Steffi, however, is a scene-stealer in this key role. I will always be attached to Lauren's particular vocal style, but in terms of portrayal and personality, Steffi creates such a multi-dimensional character from so few lines. And given that her big scene is set alongside the phenomenal Blake Bashoff, whose every nuance is finely tuned to elicit the right laugh or sympathetic tear, it's something she must do to hold the balance. She does it brilliantly, each night spinning her inflections and tone in a different direction, forcing an improvisation from Bashoff that she, in turn, responds to. It's one of the highlights of the peformance to see what she'll do on a given day, which makes her my favourite Ilse now overall.

Matt Doyle:

Those of us in Toronto were greeted with an incredible surprise in the extended guest run of Matt Doyle as Melchior while Kyle Riabko departed to film a TV pilot. Having seen Matt's Hanschen on Broadway, I already knew that he had the vocal skills to carry such a key role. But given that Hanschen is such a different animal from Melchior, I wondered at how well his interpretation would fare against my lone experience with Jonathan Groff. As it turns out, Melchior is the role Matt Doyle was meant to play, and I feel tremendously lucky to have seen him, and so many times at that.

It should be said that Melchior is a crucial character for me, in that he can be portrayed in several different ways that are all valid interpretations of the source material. However, as is said in the piece, "all roads end in you", which means, to me, that the audience should be able to sympathize with and care about Melchior. While a more cynical portrayal of his character, evoking a more stand-offish or aloof nature, is believable and legitmate, I find actors whose Melchior treats Wendla in a predatory or dismissive manhner much less appealing. When Melchior is lying in the graveyard at the end, I need to believe that he is genuinely sorry and broken-hearted over his losses. To believe that, I must believe in Melchior and Wendla's love. Cold Melchiors simply do not make me believe. Matt Doyle is not, by any means, a cold Melchior. He is certainly somewhat emotionally detached, his intellect suppressing his more emotional reactions, but you feel a sense of concern and care in him throughout his performance towards both Moritz and Wendla, which sells his devastation in the final scenes of the show. Striking an incredible balance between 'wise beyond his years' intelligence and equal parts emotional confusion and uncertainty, Matt Doyle succeeds flawlessly in this role for me. I wish him tremendous future success.

Gabrielle Garza:

Without question, Gabrielle has a wonderful and strong singing voice, pipes on par with original Anna Phoebe Strole. She also plays a wonderfully sympathetic but strong friend to Martha when she reveals the terrible truth of her father's abuse, firmly declaring her character's more Liberal views with a passionate zeal. She's unfortunately stuck with the one line of dialogue in the entire musical that is a complete clunker, which is a shame. I'm actually very curious to see how she would take on Ilse in the show, simply because I feel she's almost too strong of a presence for Anna, who for all her speech is not as worldly as Ilse. Anna seems tricky to play, in a sense, because one could play her as a more angry/firm character or play her with a more childlike energy that suddenly shifts to indignant anger at revelations of abuse. I'm not certain which I prefer, but I wish Anna had more lines to flesh her character out and allow Gabrielle to shine more.

Kimiko Glenn:

I really love Kimiko's take on the character of Thea. Her take on her leaves one feeling she is at once very young in mind, but also the most hormonal, perhaps rocketing through puberty in a manner similar to Moritz, only with a more relaxed 'go with the flow' feel for the situation as opposed to Moritz's overanalysis. She brightens the entire stage with her tremendous energy and spirited delivery, and absolutely steals the boy talk time prior to My Junk. Her facial expressions are particularly evocative and endearing, and she certainly has everything it would take to be a lead in a production. With any luck, this will be her launching point for a larger role in her future.

Sarah Hunt:

Sarah had tremendous shoes to fill for me, as Lilli Cooper's performance devastated me on Broadway last year in every way possible. Her challenge was on par with that faced by Christy after my sole Wendla experience being Lea Michele. What strikes you at first is that her vocals during The Dark I Know Well seem almost shaky at points - not in the sense that she cannot hit her notes, but rather, that she is simply that overcome with the emotion of what is a powerful song that I personally hold dear. My appreciation for her heartbreaking performance only grew as she sat beside me on stage that first night, and I realized that Sarah was full-out crying. That complete immersion in her role, in the world of her much mistreated character, makes her performance so charged, she will be a near impossible act to follow for any actor I see in the future. I am in awe each time I see her.

Anthony Lee Medina:

I could tell you in words how much energy Anthony pours into his role as Otto. I could attempt to convey how much he plays up to the on stage audience and house seating, with his smiles, gestures, cartwheels and so on. I could point out his incredible voice that delivers a beautiful solo during Touch Me that you wish were longer. Words would never truly do him justice, though. He has to be seen to be believed. For such a supporting role, he, like Kimiko Glenn, steals scenes with even a simple facial expression that just fits so perfectly with his character's generally happy nature (even if Mariana won't call him back). Several friends have agreed with me that his brand of exuberance would be well suited to a dynamic crowd-pleaser role like Angel in Rent, as an example. He, like so many of the supporting cast, seems destined and made for a larger role; I'm sure one will find him soon enough.

Andy Mientus:

There is a particularly fine line to balance with the character of Hanschen, who comes off as harsh or predatory in many scenes of Spring Awakening. The crux of it is this: in my mind, the audience should still wish to root for him in his pursuit of Ernst, or the all too brief Vineyard scene in Act 2 becomes another spot of negativity in the sense that the audience may walk away thinking, "God, poor Moritz, poor Melchior, and now Ernst is falling victim to this cruel boy?" What Andy manages to do beautifully is create moments of vulnerability in the bravado and conviction that make you want to love Hanschen in spite of his previous comments and actions. He brings more humanity to the role than I have seen before, in careful little ways. A stellar performance all around.

Ben Moss:

Ernst is such a lovable, fun character. His naivete slays me every single time in the vineyard scene and even people in the audience not pleased with the homosexual nature of the scene unfolding cannot help but be charmed by him. Ben plays this character so well, bringing together an infectious smiling belief in his 'country pastor' dreams and subtle facial expressions that betray a reluctance over what exactly Hanschen is talking about with this "I'm gonna bruise you" business he's on about. He, in short, plays the perfect willing prey to Andy's not-so-bad predator, and together, they deliver my favourite Hanschen-Ernst combination that I've seen performed.

 

Angela Reed:

Angela is easily my favourite Adult Women portrayer, hands down. Moreso than anyone else I've witnessed, Angela truly makes each women she portrays distinct in spite of few changes in costume, and delivers certain lines with such hilarious touches that I laugh until it almost hurts. She also plays Wendla's angry mother in a way that is so enraged and self-centred, it makes Wendla's defiant Whispering even more charged on its heels. Her ability to shift easily and quickly from furious mother to heartbroken and defeated in the face of the letter Melchior's father presents as support in his argument to send Melchior away always blows me away.

Perry Sherman:

I'm just going to come right out and say it off the top: I firmly believe Perry Sherman should be a full-time portrayer of Melchior, and has the potential to be the best at the role, given further experience with it (similar to how Blake Bashoff has grown from an impressive and solid Moritz to one that leaves me absolutely astonished at each performance). As noted when discussing Matt Doyle's take, for me, it's important that Melchior be someone that you can care about, someone you could believe as genuinely loving Wendla. In a sense, Wendla is so sweet and precocious that too harsh of a Melchior makes you feel as if he is taking advantage of such a sweet girl. To sympathize with him, he too must come off as still a little naive. Perry manages it beautifully. His take on the role is unique in little ways that further soften Melchior's character from the original date-rapist in Wedekind's work to a naive boy who almost doesn't fully appreciate the knowledge he has from books, as if he knows it but doesn't truly know the ramifications (which works beautifully for how Melchior knew so much about sex yet seemed genuinely shocked Wendla became pregnant, even as Herr Gabor notes he understood the mechanics of pregnancy). His performance of Those You've Known at Toronto's first performance was as gut-wrenching as Jonathan Groff's last show, where everyone was pretty much ready to weep all night, which I found commendable for an understudy slipping into a role he's portrayed only a handful of times. Fans of Matt Doyle's approach to the character will absolutely love his take; they're very similar creatures, although certain moments (for example, the utter fragility in the way he says to Wendla, "But I hurt you") add a shade more fumbling innocence to the character, making him that much more likable. Look out for this one; he's got the pipes and skill to go far.

 

Matt Shingledecker:

I have a lot of fun watching Matt's Georg, particularly during My Junk. He throws himself into the hilarious fantasy of making out with his piano teacher with a zet that makes me laugh until my chest hurts. His little devious moments peppered throughout the production (defiant faces and gestures at the frozen Henry Stram during The Bitch of Living) and beautiful Touch Me solo are a treat to behold, and he's probably my favourite of the supporting boys in the reformatory scene, simply for the contrast between his nervous oversexed piano student and assertive bullying boss. For those making return trips to the theatre, try following Shingledecker for an entire show during the larger numbers. He's always up to something worth noticing - trust me.

Henry Stram:

The more I watch Henry Stram, the more taken I am with his version of the Adult Men, so much so that I'm going to have to declare him my favourite portrayer to date. As with Angela Reed, Henry makes a concerted effort to play out each male so uniquely, I can't help but be impressed. In particular, I really enjoy his take as Moritz's father, both when condemning his son's scholastic failure, where he seems not only furious but devastated for Moritz, in a sense mourning 'what could/should have been' as well as his own sense of being let down and ashamed by his lack of progress, and when he has his moment of weeping at the funeral. There's just something rather genuine there, a feeling that as hard as he was on his son, he did so out of love for him, which makes the end of Moritz's story even more tragic. His choice in the opening school scenes to employ a condescending higher pitched tone at points is also a high point for me in his portrayals.

 

 

To perform the demanding schedule that a musical such as this entails is hard enough on a young actor, but to do so while moving constantly from city to city, unsure of how audiences will receive the controversial material is also a daunting task. It is to their credit that this, the first touring cast of Spring Awakening, does so while smiling and enthusiastically giving their all each night, with a calibre of cast that honours the original Broadway ensemble's hard rock in making Spring Awakening the success that it is.

For information on performances in London and the touring cast, click to visit the official site.

For some fun, look up the cast's behind the scenes videos on YouTube via the TotallyTrucked channel.